busyness...

Hello, hello, how's your weekend going? I thought I'd take advantage of the rest of the household being asleep to blog on the computer not just via e-mail on my phone.

We've been rather a plague-ridden family lately with constant colds over the past 2 weeks, poor Logan has had nasty tonsilitis & been on yucky tasting antibiotics, Lyra has been off of preschool this week as she had such a bad cough & David has just about struggled along...

The children are still gorgeous and wonderful though and David has organised some lovely surprises for mothers day tomorrow (I missed out last year as we had a 2-day-old logan to distract David & he didn't get around to it so he's really spoiling me this year... Lyra has taken to going shopping with her own little pink shopping basket, she has drenched herself in perfume today (made me sneeze!!) and runs around like a loon a lot of the time. She can sing beautifully and knows the words to most of the songs from "Enchanted" - she thinks she IS Giselle & asks "why am I falling down the hole? did auntie Genni (wicked stepmother!!! ha ha!) push me?". She is no longer crying when left at preschool, whci is fabulous!

Logan is climbing everything! he can and will push something over to aid his ascent, no sign of walking because it would slow him down!!! He likes to "talk" on the phone - or anything to be honest - going "heyo? yeah, yeah" and talks a little"mama" "dada" "arara" (Lyra) "dairs"(stairs= anything he can climb!!!) "yeah" "no" "done"(done - finished) "dat" (cat) & a few more but is ever so expressive without words - he will growl & make funny voices too! He goes "da da da dadaaa" in time with music & bounces to a rhythm.. posts things out of the cat flap, LOVES pushing his cars around the floor and makes car noises or aeroplane "niaow" noises (the latter while swooping his hand through the air) still eats cat food with obvious relish, chases the cat & his sister, both of whom he adores. no buttons, knobs or dials are safe from his twiddling little fingers!

As for me; I finally went to Occupational Health last week regarding my imminent return to work and my inability to stand for long periods let alone.... I was really worried because I hate to feel I'm letting anyone down but the OT was lovely & so understanding, she made it clear she was concerned about ME not just my ability to perform in my job (HCA for stroke patients). She explained that I need to go to my GP to be referred for an "expert opinion", which I did on Wednesday... & was also referred to the hospital for an x-ray (which I had done by half an hour after leaving the GP! super fast!) and a fasting blood test with the surgery Phlebotomist (next wednesday first thing) so I'm being fully assessed!! I have telephone number to phone next week to book an appointment with Osteopathy. Phew!! I need to see my GP next week or the start of the following week to be signed off sick but also need to contact my manager to let her know I'll be doing this & have physio next thursday too. Oh & it's Logan's birthday next Saturday so I'll be sorting that out and a little tea party on friday too so I'm super duper busy and trying not to get stressed out and EAT too much!!! I've now lost 1 stone 9lb since the 10th January and am very pleased with myself. I'd put a bit of weight back on due to my inability to exercise due to the aforementioned pelvic problems so I've set myself a massive target of 3 stone to lose by this summer, which is a MAJOR challenge when you have stresses going on and are still breastfeeding. I do SO hope I can do it - I now weigh the same as I did at age 18 and the lightest I have been in my adult life really. Hmmm what else - I've actually managed a little gentle gardening over the past few weeks - spring is on the way! So that's us - a little insight into our current lives!!

10 days to go!

Goodness it HAS been a little while since I've blogged hasn't it! I've been rather caught up in Christmas preparations, childrens parties and the plague that always seems to abound at this time of year... Christmas is so close I can practically taste the turkey!!! Lyra is very excited (particularly about father Christmas) & I'd be lying if I said David and I aren't too. I'm almost bursting with Christmas spirit despite a head cold making me feel like I'm on a boat. I want to make some cranberry mincemeat tonight but have crocheted presents to make before I can appease the Nigella in me. I have made bunting, the childrens stockings, Logan's Christmas trousers (with braces!) & various presents but the unwellness has put a spanner in my works so I need to focus now! David only has 3 days left at work so I'll have some help soon at least..

My main news is that i'm feeling almost totally back to my blissfully happy self due to a rather unexpected turn of events. I had been continuously feeling very low and decided enough was enough. I went to the doctor to see if there was anything to be done, terrified of sinking into full-blown PND again. After a bit of to-ing & fro-ing I very suddenly felt a LOT better at the exact same time as developing a pain in my right breast... Back to my doctor then... It turns out I
had an infection on my right mammary glands for about 3 months that has almost certainly played merry hell with my hormones & has caused my dipping mood. This came to a head, developed into mastitis & I felt better because my body was finally fighting it off!! I've just
finished a course of uber strong antibiotics so that will hopefully put an end to that. Unfortunately this means I've been feeling yucky over my birthday but better than major outbursts! Hopefully normal service shall now be resumed.

PS Lyra has been so funny lately I have to share what she said to David yesterday when he got home from work ; "daddy, why are you like a small potato"
Hmmm!! No idea Lyra :)

Happy SUNNY days...

Good evening & I hope you've had a lovely day? I'm sitting down taking the opportunity to update here after a really lovely day. My best friend from Uni Isa (aka Liz to anyone else!), her husband Tom & gorgeous little boy of just over 2 Jack popped by en route from their home "up North" to Padstow where they will be having a couple of weeks holiday. It's been over a year since we've seen them as they used to live in Bristol but moved to lancashire last July & oh how I've missed her! The weather seemed to reflect my happiness at seeing them and after a brief and violent shower in the morning stayed sunny, bright and breezy all afternoon. Lyra and Jack had a lovely time playing in the park, running up and down the grassy slopes and kicking Lyra's Peppa Pig ball, holding hands, rolling and tumbling down the hill, jumping, swinging, laughing - glowing with the exuberant happiness of little children that is just so achingly irreplaceable... It was fantastic to have a catch up & a hug with my lovely Isa, but far too brief after such a long time apart. I really feel we must make more effort to meet up regularly, really must.

David had an interview this afternoon but unfortunately didn't get the job despite working very hard ont he presentation required. They said other candidates had a stronger statistical background, which I really feel isn't fair as they shouldn't have offered an interview if they didnt' think he had enough experience in a key area... so the job hunt continues, it's definitely Time For A Change as he will have been in this job, with only theinflation payrise everyone receives each year, for 5 years this November. They haven't even given him the payrise & review they promised after 6 months, very naughty, & have just taken away his flexible working hours due to "changes in the business structure" Bullsh*t! the only flexibility they gave him was that he had to make up his hours & had to be in between 10am & 3pm every day. minimal flexibility in my opinion.. I'm starting to get a pang of fear every time I think of going back to work in February... 6 1/2 months... it isn't really that long and I don't want to be away from my babies now there are two of them to miss.

We've had a great week really; on Saturday we went to the Maypole Inn for a big joint birthday party for the group of mummies & toddlers we know (& several we don't know so well) which was fantastic & we even had nice weather & no rain until the afternoon. What a lovely idea, the lovely Jo H initiated it, Jo L runs the pub & organised it & Elaine baked a fab cake - there was a little bouncy castle, a pinata, ice cream, pass the parcel & presents & lots of children (though Lyra played with daddy mostly, she loves him best of all) - perfect & wonderful to see everyone as we all seem to have separated now. Tuesday over to visit Tina & Tom & Lily in their lovely new house, playgroup & library yeaterday & friendss over until late today... can't remember what we did monday (park & baking I think). I must make sure I keep us busy over the next few weeks, must make sure I phone people & arrange things. The problem is I'm not at all as confident as people think & unless I'm in the right mood I'll think people won't want me bugging them to meet up... isn't that silly from a grown woman?! I was discussing it with Isa today, how I often get left to my own devices because I don't come across as needing looking after, even immediately postnatally I've been left to it by family both times. Thank goodness I've been OK this time as PND was a very bad place to be after Lyra's traumatic birth and I don't want to go there again..... must try harder!

In order to not finish on a melancholy note - We started Logan on "solids" (i.e. mush) a week ago and he's loving his proper food!! We waited until her was 18 weeks old and though I really wanted to wait longer it just wan't possible with our hungry boy - he wasn't happy and was constantly hungry, what was I meant to do?!

Isa is on the way to becoming a professional photographer & has taken some fabulous shots of my family today but in the meantime here's some pics by me....

Both of my gorgeous little ones all dressed up.....

Logan's first taste of food.....

Lyra's first picture of a "man" with body & limbs....

Lyra & Jack.....

What a day!
Nothing in particular, but Lyra has been a bit trying - constantly making a mess faster than I can tidy, spilling everything & being a bit demanding.. well she is 2!!!
She poured cold water on Logan in the bath, poor baby boy was so shocked & upset by it he screamed! However she did apologise to him later & meant it for the first time ever so that's good at least.
Had Logan weighed and measured this morning, at 12 weeks 4 days old it's been over 6 weeks... He was 14lb 12oz & 63 1/2cm long, surprised he wasn't 15lb but not far to go! Lyra refused to be weighed & went all opink at the suggestion, bless her.
Parenting can be hard some days & guilt is a constant - I feel guilty that I feel frustrated with lyra for being 2, I feel guilty that Logan can't have all of the attention i would like to give to him, I feel guilty tha the house is a tip... on the whole I'm incredibly happy but that doesn't mean it's easy. & OMG I love my children so much, I wish I didn't have to go back to work eventually as I'd love to just focus on my children. David said to me earlier on when I said how happy Logan makes me "god, children are meant to make you happy" ... who knew? I loved Lyra immensely as a baby but I wasmn't happy, the love was the best thing but the experience was not positive. It wasn't her fault, more my own as I got myself into a very dark & lonely place. I'm so happy now I wish I'd been like that 2 years ago, it's my main regret....

Lyra : "I want to eat a slug"
Me: "No you don't, that would be disgusting"
Lyra: "I want to taste a slug aswell, it will taste like milkshake"
Hmmm... better keep an eye on her in the garden so she doesn't eat any milkshake-flavoured slugs!!!
Apparently "Boobie is so nice, I love boobie. it tastes like milkshake" So everything tastes like milkshake, I do hope my breastmilktastes nicer than slugs though!!!

After a gorgeous couple of weeks weather wise the clouds opened yesterday & today, we had hailstones, thunder - the works!! Needless to say we weren't too keen to venture out into the storm (well.. I went to Tesco for some shopping, but don't think that really counts). After a *really* bad night last night (the night before had been so hopeful, 8pm-2.30 then 3.30 settling himself & sleeping to 7.30) we were not really up to braving it at all. I have done some much needed tidying up this afternoon though & made a cake with Lyra. She also "helped" make her dinner & I was amazed by how much less stressful the whole thing was. That's one of my resolutions- to let Lyra help me cook rather than ending up shouting at her when i try to do it without her. For lunch we had a very naughty oven cooked "fry-up" including black pudding so still don't feel at all hungry. I really need to do some exercise on the wii fit but am worried it will tell me off!!
We've been a bit lazy this weekend & Logan has been in disposable nappies the whole time, which is strangely something I feel prety bad about since I use disposables on Lyra without a 2nd thought. Well as she has flatly refused cloth nappies & will be potty training soon it's not something I really need to go with.....( she did a poo in the potty today (after much trying!) & was so proud of herself, I really hope she's going to become more interested in the idea of no nappies) I'm keen to have Logan in cloth most of the time though for various reasons - environmental, financial & healthwise for him... We gave a bottle of expressed milk a go again last night with a different bottle & he objected thoroughly... he really only wants the real thing, this boy of mine. I'm really having doubts about the whole expressing & offering a bottle thing because I'm worried it may lead to formula, which is not where I want to go. I still occasionally let Lyra have some milk from me (she really doesn't want to let go!) so the idea of not feeding him is difficult for me.I'll hopefully get Logan weighed on Tuesday, I wonder how big he is now - surely over a stone.
I have a funny feeling I'm becoming a bit of a hippy & more & more wishing I didn't have to return to work... February will come around far too quickly for my liking, that's for sure. I'm loving spending time as a mummy as I'm in a much better place than I was during my maternity leave last time. I want to make elderflower cordial with Lyra, grow vegetables, go for walks, make bath bombs with her... just DO things with my babies! They grow so quickly. Unfortunately finances mean me working will make a HUGE impact on our quality of life & David's stress levels!!!!!

Aren't children funny..

Lyra is really becoming a proper little madam, but she really makes me laugh. For example,
yesterday i put a basket of laundry on her trampoline to make it easier for me to reach when hanging it up. She suddenly went "I want to go on my trampoline, no mummy don't put the laundry on my trampoline." so ok, i took it off & she got on the trampoline & said "naughty mummy, it's Lyra's trampoline not mummy's trampoline" & she PUSHED me (in an "oi" type of way if you know what i mean!) She's really into imaginary play now & will give me imaginary things all the time, if I'm looking for something I often hear a little "I found it mummy!", turn to her hopefully & 9 times out of 10 it is literally nothing - an imaginary item that she passes to me. This age is so sweet, but so demanding!
Logan had his first imunisations yesterday, poor little lamb (he DOES make funny bleating noises, I swear it's from David's welsh ancestry) - he was inconsolable after the 2nd one & screamed loads more than Lyra did at hers. Even after I managed to calm him down, when he eventually accepted my nipple to nurse, his little face kept crumpling & his eyes filled with tears. Luckily he didn't have any ill effects other than grumpiness (another trait from daddy! lol!) & has been his usual cheerful self today., he's such a happy little boy I find it harder if he's sad!

It's been glorious weather today so we took the children to the beach for the first time this year (& obviously Logan's first time ever) with my two sisters & my mum. Logan seemed quite content staring around him with his aunts pulling funny faces at him, though he did need to be fed once before we left to go there, twice ont he beach & as son as we got pack to my mum & dad's.. Felt I had my boobs out all day but then it is hot weather!! Lyra loved it, paddled in the water lots (water was very cold!)& was fascinated by the baby flounder I managed to catch in the net. She ate ALL of her blackberry ice cream & really didn't want to leave but after about 1 1/2 hours we thought it would be best to go back to my parents' house for some shade.

At Grandma & Grandads Lyra had a water fight with Grandad in the garden (she had a hose, he had a water pistol) splashed in the paddling pool & ran around naked while Genni chased after her to get her dressed. A lovely time was had by all generally!

I also have had a couple of parcels to open that arrived for me today, one from the book people (I'm addicted!), 1 with 2 bargain nappy wraps that I bought on ebay & one with some aromatherapy oils that i ordered as part of my attempt to help Lyra sleep better. All in all today has been a good one, really looking forward to the summer!

About my family

OK this is my blog but it's about my family so I should probably introduce the members of my little family who my life revolves around -----

David...... My wonderful husband is a project planner for a manufacturing company & wishes he wasn't. He's such a big softy that if money was not an issue I'm sure he would be working with children or animals. He loves IT & fiddling with computers is his main hobby, when there's nice weather he enjoys cycling, flying RC gliders and going for walks with us :o) We met in Uni through our mutual friend Wade in 2000 when I was in my first year & he was in his final year, have been together since October 2001, were married on 14th may 2005, bought a house together 3 months later and are pretty much made for each other ♥♥♥

Lyra ... our beautiful daughter, born on 28th January 2007. She's a very wilfull 2-year-old at the time of writing this & always wants her own way - often getting it! Despite this stubborn streak she is fantastic & a very sweet, polite & caring little girl - we get lots of pleases & thankyous & she likes to do tings that make us happy - the pride in her face is priceless when she does something by herself or something to make us smile.... With strangers she can be shy but does warm up eventually (once she has stopped hiding). I know most parents say this but even my Health Visitor has commented on how incredibly bright she is - people tend to think she's 3 rather than 2. Her speech & grammar are better than a lot of adults, she can count to 20 & recognises a lot of letters already. I have the feeling she will be a lot of hard work one day!!!

Logan ... our gorgeous baby boy who arrived in our lives on 20th march 2009 is currently 2-months old (9 weeks & 3 days to be precise). He was 3 weeks early but has more than made up for being "just" 7lb 7 at birth & is already in 3-6 month clothes! He's a very smily, laid back baby but does love his cuddles (especially milk-fed mummy cuddles) & will complain loudly if they aren't forthcoming when he "asks"