10 days to go!

Goodness it HAS been a little while since I've blogged hasn't it! I've been rather caught up in Christmas preparations, childrens parties and the plague that always seems to abound at this time of year... Christmas is so close I can practically taste the turkey!!! Lyra is very excited (particularly about father Christmas) & I'd be lying if I said David and I aren't too. I'm almost bursting with Christmas spirit despite a head cold making me feel like I'm on a boat. I want to make some cranberry mincemeat tonight but have crocheted presents to make before I can appease the Nigella in me. I have made bunting, the childrens stockings, Logan's Christmas trousers (with braces!) & various presents but the unwellness has put a spanner in my works so I need to focus now! David only has 3 days left at work so I'll have some help soon at least..

My main news is that i'm feeling almost totally back to my blissfully happy self due to a rather unexpected turn of events. I had been continuously feeling very low and decided enough was enough. I went to the doctor to see if there was anything to be done, terrified of sinking into full-blown PND again. After a bit of to-ing & fro-ing I very suddenly felt a LOT better at the exact same time as developing a pain in my right breast... Back to my doctor then... It turns out I
had an infection on my right mammary glands for about 3 months that has almost certainly played merry hell with my hormones & has caused my dipping mood. This came to a head, developed into mastitis & I felt better because my body was finally fighting it off!! I've just
finished a course of uber strong antibiotics so that will hopefully put an end to that. Unfortunately this means I've been feeling yucky over my birthday but better than major outbursts! Hopefully normal service shall now be resumed.

PS Lyra has been so funny lately I have to share what she said to David yesterday when he got home from work ; "daddy, why are you like a small potato"
Hmmm!! No idea Lyra :)

Hello there!

Wow it's almost NOVEMBER!! How on earth did that happen?!
Goodness I've been so lax about updating on here. It gets to a certain amount of time since the last post and it becomes even more work to post as an update on everything feels required!! I'll do my best with some brief snippets of the most important people to me....
Logan is now 7 months & 1 week & getting incredibly grown up. When nappy free ha is crawling a little, otherwise he is successfully bum-shuffling a reasonable distance and can pull himself up onto his knees. He will drag himself over to me & then start climbing up my leg sometimes when he wants me :o) He's also eating loads & growing loads too, he has a new highchair so he can sit at the table with us for meals and have finger foods/ try to chuck everything in arms reach on the floor. He's a typical male already; loves food, bashing things, being noisy, music & technology. At the moment he's not sleeping well & is being very clingy due to developing another cold after just recovering from croup and teething (still totally toothless). He has also learned to nod & finds it very funny as it's kind of a whole body nod and says lots of "words"; dada, mama, blabla, baba, & something that sounds a lot like "Lyra".


Lyra is doing very well too, she is not crying when I drop her off at preschool any more & is pretty good at helping with Logan too. As ever her speech is fantastic and she comes out with the funniest things. The other night she said to david "shh... listen. It's the winds of change" (which apparently go blurbleurble) If I say something she disagrees with I get a quick "no no no" in respionse (a mannerism directly pinched from me) & she will make up songs about Logan who she calls "Loganberry". She also loves making things and we make cakes a couple of times a week, is always on the go & has daytime naps almost never (except for when she is ill like now)

I've been busy with my crochet I've made 3 pigs, 1 chicken, a sheep, lamb and ram & all but legs of a fresian cow for Logan's crochet farmyard christmas present. I've also made Lyra a little princess doll and 1/2 simon's hat. I have plans for putting patterns & tutorials on my other blog as I'm very impressed with my little animals that I worked out all by myself....

We've done really well with our christmas shopping already & have very little left to buy for the children (the big ones!) David bought me an iphone recently (another reason for my silence as cannot post from it!) so I'm LOVING that.

What with everyone's colds, new carpets meaning I have loads of sorting to do still (lovely new carpets though!) I'm just about treading water & feeling a bit low but hopefully acknowledging it will help me to do something about it. I must confess I'm scared of the idea of getting PND again, very scared that I already have it in fact. I really should phone my Health Visitor who is lovely but I don't want to admit defeat but I'm crying more than I should. Just 6 weeks ago I was the happiest I have ever been & I really want to be back there. Guess SAD doesn't help - very yucky weather at the moment.

David has been trooping again (& I didn't even tell you about his first troop!) & loved it again, I'm so torn as I miss him because I feel I hardly ever see him now but he loves it so much that he's happier & reacting to my lows better... I want him to be happy as that will ultimately be best for us both & of course because I love him.... & he does love his trooping :o)

OK I must find out how to update here on my iphone, that will lead to more regular updates I feel!!! until next time ttfn xxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy SUNNY days...

Good evening & I hope you've had a lovely day? I'm sitting down taking the opportunity to update here after a really lovely day. My best friend from Uni Isa (aka Liz to anyone else!), her husband Tom & gorgeous little boy of just over 2 Jack popped by en route from their home "up North" to Padstow where they will be having a couple of weeks holiday. It's been over a year since we've seen them as they used to live in Bristol but moved to lancashire last July & oh how I've missed her! The weather seemed to reflect my happiness at seeing them and after a brief and violent shower in the morning stayed sunny, bright and breezy all afternoon. Lyra and Jack had a lovely time playing in the park, running up and down the grassy slopes and kicking Lyra's Peppa Pig ball, holding hands, rolling and tumbling down the hill, jumping, swinging, laughing - glowing with the exuberant happiness of little children that is just so achingly irreplaceable... It was fantastic to have a catch up & a hug with my lovely Isa, but far too brief after such a long time apart. I really feel we must make more effort to meet up regularly, really must.

David had an interview this afternoon but unfortunately didn't get the job despite working very hard ont he presentation required. They said other candidates had a stronger statistical background, which I really feel isn't fair as they shouldn't have offered an interview if they didnt' think he had enough experience in a key area... so the job hunt continues, it's definitely Time For A Change as he will have been in this job, with only theinflation payrise everyone receives each year, for 5 years this November. They haven't even given him the payrise & review they promised after 6 months, very naughty, & have just taken away his flexible working hours due to "changes in the business structure" Bullsh*t! the only flexibility they gave him was that he had to make up his hours & had to be in between 10am & 3pm every day. minimal flexibility in my opinion.. I'm starting to get a pang of fear every time I think of going back to work in February... 6 1/2 months... it isn't really that long and I don't want to be away from my babies now there are two of them to miss.

We've had a great week really; on Saturday we went to the Maypole Inn for a big joint birthday party for the group of mummies & toddlers we know (& several we don't know so well) which was fantastic & we even had nice weather & no rain until the afternoon. What a lovely idea, the lovely Jo H initiated it, Jo L runs the pub & organised it & Elaine baked a fab cake - there was a little bouncy castle, a pinata, ice cream, pass the parcel & presents & lots of children (though Lyra played with daddy mostly, she loves him best of all) - perfect & wonderful to see everyone as we all seem to have separated now. Tuesday over to visit Tina & Tom & Lily in their lovely new house, playgroup & library yeaterday & friendss over until late today... can't remember what we did monday (park & baking I think). I must make sure I keep us busy over the next few weeks, must make sure I phone people & arrange things. The problem is I'm not at all as confident as people think & unless I'm in the right mood I'll think people won't want me bugging them to meet up... isn't that silly from a grown woman?! I was discussing it with Isa today, how I often get left to my own devices because I don't come across as needing looking after, even immediately postnatally I've been left to it by family both times. Thank goodness I've been OK this time as PND was a very bad place to be after Lyra's traumatic birth and I don't want to go there again..... must try harder!

In order to not finish on a melancholy note - We started Logan on "solids" (i.e. mush) a week ago and he's loving his proper food!! We waited until her was 18 weeks old and though I really wanted to wait longer it just wan't possible with our hungry boy - he wasn't happy and was constantly hungry, what was I meant to do?!

Isa is on the way to becoming a professional photographer & has taken some fabulous shots of my family today but in the meantime here's some pics by me....

Both of my gorgeous little ones all dressed up.....

Logan's first taste of food.....

Lyra's first picture of a "man" with body & limbs....

Lyra & Jack.....

What a day!
Nothing in particular, but Lyra has been a bit trying - constantly making a mess faster than I can tidy, spilling everything & being a bit demanding.. well she is 2!!!
She poured cold water on Logan in the bath, poor baby boy was so shocked & upset by it he screamed! However she did apologise to him later & meant it for the first time ever so that's good at least.
Had Logan weighed and measured this morning, at 12 weeks 4 days old it's been over 6 weeks... He was 14lb 12oz & 63 1/2cm long, surprised he wasn't 15lb but not far to go! Lyra refused to be weighed & went all opink at the suggestion, bless her.
Parenting can be hard some days & guilt is a constant - I feel guilty that I feel frustrated with lyra for being 2, I feel guilty that Logan can't have all of the attention i would like to give to him, I feel guilty tha the house is a tip... on the whole I'm incredibly happy but that doesn't mean it's easy. & OMG I love my children so much, I wish I didn't have to go back to work eventually as I'd love to just focus on my children. David said to me earlier on when I said how happy Logan makes me "god, children are meant to make you happy" ... who knew? I loved Lyra immensely as a baby but I wasmn't happy, the love was the best thing but the experience was not positive. It wasn't her fault, more my own as I got myself into a very dark & lonely place. I'm so happy now I wish I'd been like that 2 years ago, it's my main regret....